Under 25 Pages
BDSM info for young adults
(Part I of II)
Welcome to our "under 25" page. Why does a page like this exist? Well, because young adults have different questions when it comes to BDSM, D/s, S&M. erotic power exchange or whatever you want to call it. If you're over 25, you're welcome here as well, but don't expect to find that "young BDSM chick" here. Because that's not what these pages are about.
What are these pages about?
Being young and identifying or exploring erotic power exchange (BDSM) emotions is usually different from the situation when this happens at an older age. You may have other wants and needs, coming out (talking about it) is more difficult - especially talking to parents or friends - and all this largely interferes with the more general exploration of your own sexuality.
A few notes on age and the law
The Internet is still very much a medium developed and crowded by people from the United States. For this reason you will find disclaimers on almost all sites stating that you have to be either 18 or 21 (depending on where in the USA you are) to be allowed to view the information on that particular site. These age restrictions are different in many other countries. Plus, different countries, and different states in the USA have very different opinions on what "adult" information exactly is. In fact, "adult" is mostly the politically correct word for pornography.
The situation in the USA is blurry at best. Hardly anyone can tell you what exactly is legal and what is not when it comes to sexuality in your particular area. As a result, it is almost impossible to give you any good advice about whether or not even viewing these pages is legal, let alone undertaking erotic power exchange activities. However, a good rule of thumb to go by is this: sexual activities between consenting adults are not illegal, provided you keep them private and the "interests of third parties" (such as children) are not involved. In some areas this means that if you have children you may open yourself up to problems if you enter into erotic power exchange activities even in your own bedroom with your own partner.
In other countries the situation is quite different. In continental Europe for example it usually is no problem at all for you to view pages that offer information - even if it's sexually related information. In South America on the other hand anything in the erotic power exchange area is considered illegal at any age. In Australia and New Zealand there is no problem reading these pages if you are over 21, and most Asian countries actually could not care less as long as you are over 16. (Note: recent changes in Australian laws means you should look into this yourself if you live there.)
Our view on things is this. You have to be able to understand the things we're talking about here. If you don't understand the full extent of the content of these pages, you're likely to draw the wrong conclusions. About yourself as well as about erotic power exchange. Since the majority of the information available here is written with adults in mind, we consider the site an adult site.
Experimenting and uncertainty
Experimenting with your own sexuality is normal. In fact, almost everyone does this at some stage and such experiments may encompass almost anything, including finding out about your own gender and erotic power exchange. So, are you crazy tieing yourself to a bedpost, placing clothespins on your nipples and masturbating or maybe even whipping yourself? No, absolutely not! That's the way most people have found out about their erotic power exchange emotions. Like others who'll read the same passage in some book over and over again, who'll carry some picture in their wallet, or like those who cannot get enough of a particular scene in a movie or a video clip.
It's these experiments, unidentified desires and often fears that'll make many feel uncertain. It's important to understand that this is an experimental stage. All this does not mean your erotic power exchange emotions are here to stay. They may be a temporary fascination, a kick or just part of the entire experimental phase. Or they may stay and become important in your life. Who is to say?
The important thing is that you shouldn't be afraid to go with the flow. Let your emotions and feelings guide you. If they're important to you, they'll find their place, even though that may take quite a while. Talk to others. You have a ten to one chance your friends have done the same thing or are still doing it. Find information and try to understand yourself. And by all means do NOT let yourself get painted into a corner. Erotic power exchange emotions take time to evolve. You may for example feel submissive now and eventually turn into a dominant. Or the other way around. Or you may eventually be either, depending on the situation and your future partner. Things that are important now may fade later and other things may surface. Just enjoy the way you're feeling now. And DO experiment and explore.
Young People and Erotic Power Exchange
Research shows some significant differences in opinion and behavior between men and women when it comes to erotic power exchange. We singled out the respondents between 18 and 24 years of age for you, because the answers of the respondents in this age range point to some very interesting conclusions.
Not a real phenomenum - in fact pretty well known in sexology - is the fact that young women are not so sure about their general sexual orientation as young men are. For example, almost the entire group of male respondents (96%) indicates their sexual orientation is heterosexual, whereas 71% of the female group indicates heterosexual and 29% is either curious about bisexuality or not sure about their orientation at all.
When it comes to role pattern however, the young men seem to be much less clear about their orientation. Only half of the male group indicates a positive dominant role (52%), 14% indicates to be submissive and 34% indicates to switch roles. The vast majority (71%) of the female respondents indicates they are submissive, 19% switches roles and 10% has a dominant orientation.
Also, young women appear to be much more active when it comes to erotic power exchange. A strong majority of 62% indicates they have had at least one active erotic power exchange experience, whereas only 32% of the male respondents say they have had such an active experience.
If the POWERotics survey is anything to go by, women usually recollect erotic power exchange fantasies and emotions earlier than men on average. Recollections of fantasies and emotions before the age of 12 for example are more frequent (24%) in the female group (men 16%). Very recent recollections, after their 18th birthday, are more frequent in the male group: 22% as opposed to only 5% in the female group.
There are no real differences when it comes to the importance of personal fantasies. Between 40 and 45 percent of both groups indicate that it was these fantasies that triggered their erotic power exchange emotions. The same goes for the influence of books and general media on the development of such emotions. Around 20 percent of both groups indicate this as a trigger. There are, however big differences when it comes to the influence of the Internet. Almost twice as many young women (15% opposed to 8%) name the Internet as a trigger of their emotions, whereas almost twice as many young men (11% versus 6%) say they have been influenced by pornography. It is important to notice however that the influence of both the Internet and pornography are only of minor influence, when compared to other triggers such as private fantasies and general media.
Young women in general consider erotic power exchange of a greater importance in their lives than young men. 53% of the young women consider it to be either a very important or the most important thing in their lives, whereas 44% of the men consider it important but have other priorities as well. Slightly more young men (12%) than women (10%) see erotic power exchange as just a kick.
What do young people spend their money on?
If anyone thought erotic power exchange parties are something young people would predominantly go to, they are wrong. Only a small minority (6% men and 4% women) visit parties. Amazingly twice as many young women - as opposed to young men - visit commercial clubs or visit people privately.
The majority of the young male population spends its money on magazines (51%). Only a quarter of the female population buys magazines but many more young women than men buy toys and gear (28% versus 3%). In general young women (and that is a significant difference with the entire female population) spend more money on erotic power exchange than young men; some 5% even as much as over $5,000 per year and 10% between $1,000 and $5,000.
Again not surprisingly partner search to men is a hot item. Over half of the young male population indicates their first need is to find a partner, as opposed to 32% of the young women, even though the number of single young women is greater. Young women - and this is true for the general picture for all women groups in this survey - have a greater need for communication with others and information. An amazing and interesting factor when it comes to information and knowledge however is that twice as many young men are interested in understanding more about erotic power exchange itself, whereas twice as many women are mainly interested in the practicalities of how to do things.
This article continues on the next page. You can use this
Based on materials from the POWERotics Foundation
© 2000; republished here with their permission;
see the Contributors page for contact links.